Since I’m using this blog more as a journal than a soap box now should be the time that I am writing most. It is proving to be quite the contrary. The stress in my life is less than my Mother’s so I feel as though I have no right to feel it. The worries are less than that of my brother’s so I wonder what it is I have to worry about. And yet I feel like I have an ulcer and can’t seem to stop worrying about everything.
(Current Braincloud: My left eye won’t stop watering and I fear I have a brain tumor that is effecting my tear ducts. SWEET!)
Shortly after my father’s death I was thrown onto my Mother’s emotional train wreak. The trip includes needingto do in one day what normally takes a week, sprinkled with hating yourself when you can’t get it all done in 24 hours. She has been systematically remodeling every room in our house. I can’t help but wonder what she will do when there are no rooms left. I can only hope that I am ready to start my own home by then.
There is a brighter side to this post however. Summer means Sundays spent poolside with a group of friends that I have had since my high school days. We all comment on how it feels like our friends house, with the pool and hot tub, is like the rest of our own vacation homes. On these days I enjoy the water, the laughs, good food, and a serious game of Guitar Hero on occasion.
I find myself noticing moments or days like this more than I used to. I will be in the middle of something and think to myself, “This is living, this is what life is all about.” I cut myself off at the ankles so often that it is nice to finally see myself becoming someone I have always wanted to be. A soul that remembers that life is short and cherishes the moments in her life that make her laugh so hard she pees her pants.
PS: Does anyone have any aloe for the serious sunburn I have on my face?!?!
No Comments Yet
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
Leave a comment
