Not New

I am not at all new to the world of blogging. It’s just that I got board of my old blog and wanted to start something new. It was time, and I was finally ready. Hence, My Own Personal Brain Clouds. I think a good a way to begin this blog would be to explain what the Hell the title means.

My friend Casey termed the phrase “Brain Cloud” a while back. It has to do with the fact that I always think I’m dying of one thing or another. When I was 20 I was told that I suffered from panic attacks. The diagnosis took 3 trips to the doctor and a long conversation with my mom, in which I told her that I was okay with dying. Eight years later and  I still have issues with thoughts of dying from all sorts of things. To give you an idea here is a list of aliments I have thought I had at one point or another in the past 8 years.

• Brain tumor
• Throat cancer
• SARS
• Heart attack
• Leukemia
• blood clots
• Staff infection

These are just to name a few. It’s a horrible plight, one that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I have been on and off medication. When I start to feel better I go off my pills. And then the thoughts start going south. I wouldn’t say I’m a hypochondriac because I am terrified of doctors. Every day is a struggle and each day that I wake up alive another worry about death plagues me. These are my stories looking through the brain clouds.

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